With heavy hearts we announce the death of Carolyn Frayn, mother, grandmother, sister, daughter, aunt, photographer, artist, writer. Carolyn is survived by her three children, Jonathan Wilks, James Frayn (Cassidy), and Joshua Wilks, her sister Julie Frayn, and brother John Frayn (Suvi), her grandchildren Jayden and Marcus Wilks, her nieces Brynn Archibald and Anika Frayn, her nephews Charlie Archibald, Evan, Spencer, and Jorden Frayn, and her mother, Irene Frayn. Carolyn is predeceased by her father, Donald Frayn. Metastatic Breast Cancer killed Carolyn, and she killed it right back. Here are her thoughts on stupid cancer:
"You know what is so incredibly stupid about cancer? It has warped ideas of invasion and triumph... It comes from our own cells to ravage us, to eat our bones and organs, to take over our life force, completely deplete our energies and leave us shells of our former selves. And then what? I've read 'stupid cancer' many times and have agreed, but it has finally sunk in just how truly stupid it is. You see, it never wins. It can't win. Each battle we fight is with our own cells. How can we be both winner and loser? Easy. When we beat it back with radiation - our DNA is changed enough to kill or make quiet, most or all of it; or when we poison it - our immune system drained enough to leave it infertile for a time; or we manage to cut enough of it out - becoming Frankenweenie; our non-cancer self wins. However, in the end - when we die - cancer does not in turn become the winner. Like bloody hell it does. Cancer dies with us. Repeating myself, that ugly infiltration of destruction is our very own cells gone awry, therefore cancer is eating its own life force. Cancer is killing itself, sabotaging its own advancement. Stupid cancer. I will not lose my battle with breast cancer. I have fought my errant cells and will continue to fight until I cannot. Then I hope to smile, remain calm, continue hugging those close enough to hug, and try to say goodbye when the time draws near. Cancer never wins... When I die, so does the cancer within me. We who live with cancer are winners, no matter our course, no matter our individual decisions regarding our care, no matter our outcomes. Should we lose our lives, we have not failed, we have not lost our battle. There is no failure on our part. We have done nothing wrong. Cancer may kill us, but cancer is the only loser."
There will be an informal celebration in Carolyn's honour on Sunday, January 10, 2016 (what would have been her 55th birthday) in the Railway Orientation Centre at Heritage Park (1900 Heritage Drive SW), from 1:00 pm to 4:00 pm. No flowers please. Instead, get a mammogram, a breast scan, a prostate exam. Please don't buy any pink ribbon merchandise as per Carolyn's request. It doesn't help breast cancer sufferers. If you choose to donate to a cancer charity, please designate your donation to metastatic breast cancer research.